A Two Martini Knotty Grrl

Did anyone get the number of that truck?

That's what I have felt like for the last week.  I totally fell off the NaBloPoMo wagon people.  I suppose after my rehab stay I can let the tabloids back onto my lawn to photograph me "accidentally" getting the newspaper in my thong set.  At the moment I am being mistaken more for Sideshow Bob  than any celebrity stickbug.  I would never be mistaken for a star because I am much too fat anyway.

I am desperately trying to get caught up for school and to pull my grades up and my newest babysitter just flaked out on me.  What the fuck?  This must be karma for all the fucked up job shit that I've ever pulled.  I'm getting it back in spades I tell you. 

I have both kids at home today and Thanksgiving has been moved to my house.  This will be my first ever attempt to cook a turkey.  I'm actually really excited because I love to feed people!  Also, I've never done this before so I'm not burned out on it.

I hope to make someone's day today.

o So here's a big Happy Belated Blogging Birthday to Jenn!  She makes some of the most amazing knitted objects that I have ever seen and she's prolific at it too!  I wonder if she makes hats or if that's too mundane for a knitting goddess? 

Company.

I sure hope that I can do a better job than this in November.  I blame good company and wine for my lack of posts over the weekend.  That and some accounting homework that absolutely must be turned in this morning.

Getting on the horn!

Ha!  I've actually thought about this twice today and it came back just now so I could write about it!!  I'm so damn proud of my brain right now that I could spit.

Anyhow, I went to a local sporting goods store and I purchased a very tiny, very cute, klaxon.  That's an air horn to those of you not in the know.  It actually fits in the palm of my hand and was only $5.99.  That's an incredibly small price to pay for the amount of joy that it gives me.  How does my might klaxon provide me with glee do you ask?  Well, I'm more than happy to tell you right now.  I pick up my phone and I set it off in the ears of telemarketers who call to ask me for money after I have asked them politely to remove me from their call list.  I do not have a grasp of the English language that is broad enough to tell you just how damn happy this simple act makes me!  I am thrilled to my toes now when I see the once dreaded numbers come up in my caller ID!  I find myself hoping that when the phone is ringing in the evening that it is someone that I blow my horn at!  I figure enough times of the horn and someone somewhere will put a note in my file to remove my number or the workman's comp claims at these joints is going to go through the roof.  Either way, they have to stop.  Yes, I can be mean but in this case I feel more than justified.  And oh so damn happy, especially when I get to toot my own horn!

Oh, and I'm going to particpate in M. Kennedy's (as she wants to be referred to as now) idea of National Blog Posting Month, or NaBloPoMo, so I'm starting early, the actual month of the contest is November, to make sure that my brain can handle 30 consecutive days of blogging!