I couldn't get enough time on Frog's laptop, or even enough time without some small person needing something from me, to sit down and write. During our 20 hour drive back home, that ended yesterday at 3:30 pm, I wrote somewhere near a million different posts. Do I remember any of them now? Hell no.
I'm going to go talk to a grief counselor tomorrow. I think I need to do this to get some time and another opinion. Part of me wants to cancel the appointment. Pretty standard stuff for me though.
Bean keeps asking where Gramma is and I have to give him the same answers every time and it's tearing me up, for the both of us. Yesterday was the worst though because he laid his little hand on my check and told me that he "would help me find Gramma." I sobbed all the way back to the house from the mailbox. I stopped when I saw Frog, because he won't let me cry.
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