A Two Martini Knotty Grrl

No refills.

Right now I hate my FNP.  This will go away on Monday when I make her give me new prescriptions.  It's not completely her fault.  I do wonder why she doesn't just write me damn refills on my meds instead of insisting on seeing me every month even though I don't have insurance, but it was MY fault for not noticing that my meds ran out the day before Thanksgiving.  I have a splitting headache, I've broken into sobbing twice already this morning, and it's not even noon yet, I just realized that I basically have one week to complete three weeks worth of school work, and I'm feeling slightly homicidal towards the last babysitter that fucked me over. 

Then both my kids decided that they HAD to sleep with us last night.  I was sweating the entire time, from the amazing BTUs that all my family members emit, add the fact that everyone except me is a thrasher, and you end up seeing that I got no sleep at all. 

Oh, and did I tell you that the IRS is threatening to take my mom's house?  The one that we live in?  Did you know that they take everything when the padlock the doors except a few clothes and school books?  I love my kids.  I will not be a selfish idiot like my parents.  I will not.  Now we have to figure out where to move to before the IRS comes to take the house.  On top of everything else. 

But, I have lots of pie.  I may lose my mind but my Candida will have a good couple of days.  I may get some wine to make them even happier.

Did anyone get the number of that truck?

That's what I have felt like for the last week.  I totally fell off the NaBloPoMo wagon people.  I suppose after my rehab stay I can let the tabloids back onto my lawn to photograph me "accidentally" getting the newspaper in my thong set.  At the moment I am being mistaken more for Sideshow Bob  than any celebrity stickbug.  I would never be mistaken for a star because I am much too fat anyway.

I am desperately trying to get caught up for school and to pull my grades up and my newest babysitter just flaked out on me.  What the fuck?  This must be karma for all the fucked up job shit that I've ever pulled.  I'm getting it back in spades I tell you. 

I have both kids at home today and Thanksgiving has been moved to my house.  This will be my first ever attempt to cook a turkey.  I'm actually really excited because I love to feed people!  Also, I've never done this before so I'm not burned out on it.

I hope to make someone's day today.

o So here's a big Happy Belated Blogging Birthday to Jenn!  She makes some of the most amazing knitted objects that I have ever seen and she's prolific at it too!  I wonder if she makes hats or if that's too mundane for a knitting goddess? 

I blew it.

Well, I shouldn't be surprised but I'm already toast because I totally thought about posting yesterday and then I didn't do it.  It's a lot harder than I thought to post every single day.  I'm going to keep trying just to try to form a better habit of posting but I'm definitely not going to win anything.  This is normally where I would interject that "I never win anything" but that is no longer true since I won an awesome book from Flea!  I'm going to go watch a movie and let my brain relax because this weekend was hell in terms of school work.

I finally found a reliable babysitter!!  The only catch is that I have to pick her up and drop her off.  I am taking this positively though as I will always know where she is and she can't be late unless I am!!  I'm so happy in light of the fact that I may be able to pull my grades from the shitter after all, because there are still 4 weeks left in the semester!

Aquarium Query.

This is a bit of a cheater's post because I'm asking if any of you have any experience with snails in large aquariums?  My mother is totally freaked about possibly getting snail larvae from some adopted fish that I brought home today.  What can I say?  I'm a softy about animals.  I thought that I'd tap you guys as a resource before I go to the almighty Google.  I love real life anecdotes.  G'night y'all.

Public Toilet Etiquette.

I know many words have probably already been devoted to this topic but I'm going to add a few more.  When you go into a public restroom with 8 stalls, do not sit down in the one next to me.  Especially on a day when I had a colon-therapy appointment and cannot be held accountable for what is happening.  You made my butt hurt and I don't appreciate that.  The heavy breathing that you did while you took 5 minutes to pee was icky too.  It's always embarrassing to come out of a stall and have to face the person who was next to you in that situation.  I'm just sayin'.

"No one likes a quitter."

At least that's what Frog says all the time when people pester him about quitting smoking.  I used to be a two pack a day smoker, and I just passed my 4 year anniversary for quitting in September.  I couldn't be happier about it.  I love that I'm not wasting the money.  I love that when I'm in an airport I don't have to do all the crazy running in and out of security to get a fix.  I love that I no longer smell like an ashtray just like my husband.  I really hate that Bean sees Frog smoke and he even brings his cigarettes to him now.  Frog doesn't smoke in our house, he's banned to the front porch, and he's not supposed to smoke with the kids in the car, but I recently found out that he's too lazy to not refrain for even short periods of time, so he no longer takes the kids out by himself.  Now he's starting with what I call the "It's too damn cold to smoke outside now that it's really Fall" campaign.  Every year I hear about how he's thinking about quitting.  Between you and me, I think this is about as likely as me sprouting a size 6 waistline within the next millennium.  But I will hear it for the next few weeks at least, and I hate myself for the fact that I get the littlest bit of hope every year.

Timing is everything.

I changed up when I take my new meds, after consulting with my FNP of course, and I have almost completely eliminated the awful compulsive yawning that was occurring all day long.  I'm very happy about this change.

I did my civic duty and I voted today.  This involved hauling my hungover self, my two kids, and my mom to the polls at slightly after 7 am.  This is not something that I would recommend to the faint of heart.  I kept eyeballing possible places to throw up while Bean ran around like a crazy person, and Bug just clung to me like a barnacle.  Frog came too but he drove himself since he was going straight on to work afterward.

Of course, taking Bean to the polls and then to school threw off his routine so I ended up spending almost 15 minutes in his classroom getting him to not bolt out the door again, like he did the first two times that I wasn't quick enough to catch him, and just trying to calm him down.  Apparently this didn't last long because he had a very rough day which included changing his clothes twice.  Poor guy.  He needs his routines and it's so hard on him when the least little thing changes.

More on my hair.

Shit, even I'm bored with this subject by now.  I just want to be finished.  Oops, she's here!  We will begin fixing more of my dreads now.

Later:  It's 1 in the morning and I've got a buzz on.  Locks Lady just left and we still have to have another appointment to finish these.  Ugh.  I'm glad she's so nice, funny, and patient or this would really suck much more.
The 7th:  My drunk ass hit draft instead of publish last night.  I suppose I am now disqualified from NaBloPoMo.  Oh well, I'll keep trying for the rest of the month.  I'm publishing it now as when it was written.

Bug in lap.

As I write this that is.  She is being a bit of a pain but I thought for a moment that she would let me post.  No such luck.  I'll have to update after they both go to bed tonight.